Drunk-tern: A little advice for the tipsy

Dear Intern -

I feel it's my responsibility as a former 'tern to tell you: Do not drink the punch!

Yes - it's true, agency people love to let their hair down, but let me tell you, do not let yours lose its shape.

I know the feeling of wanting to fit in so badly that you sip, Sip, SIP vodka soda after vodka soda because well - it feels great and it's low cal. However, before you down that next glass of fire water, let me remind you of a thing called a REPUTATION.

A reputation, along with your looks, can quickly fade. A good one takes a lot of time and energy to craft, and at the end of your internship is one of the deciding factors if an agency keeps you on. So here are a few tips for surviving the OPEN BAR e-mail:

• Do not experiment with your drinks. Nothing says NOOB like someone who orders a Cosmo followed by an Irish Car Bomb. Stick to one drink - preferably something that doesn't scream "I saw this in a TGIF menu."
• Pretend to drink something that you're not. E.g. I order Non-alcoholic beers and ask the bartender to pour it into a pint glass. Looks like the real thing, feels like your best Sunday dress. I do this when I want to build street cred - Image means a lot in the industry world, but it doesn't mean you need to be a fool. Act smart.
• Drink a glass of water between drinks. For added affect, ask for it on the rocks in a tumbler with a wedge of lime.
  
• Don't be the last to leave. Open bars & agency outings are just like parties - you want to make an appearance but you don't want to be the entertainment. Have a drink, perhaps two, but then leave. Always remember to make your rounds and leave people wanting more.
• Keep your dirty laundry in the laundry basket. Agency life, just like life, is ripe full of people who love the gossip mill. I highly suggest you watch Mad Men and watch Don Draper handle his business - like a well tuned stealth fighter. My hero. Just remember, your secrets can quickly become email fodder the next day.
  
• Finally, have a Wing-tern. They're that fellow intern you can trust to tell you in private that you're nearing the edge baby...step back from that ledge my friend! A good one is hard to find since many interns see each other as competition and would like nothing more than for you to show the ECD just how good you are the Lambada. If you find a Wing-Tern, keep them close.

Readers, feel free to share your tricks of the trade in the comments section - drinking wiser is the name of the game.